Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
