You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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