U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
