lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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