Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
