i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
