I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
