i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
