suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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