I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
