Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
