Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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