i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
only you would photoshop your dick
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
