I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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