I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
