Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
