Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
