I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
