I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
