i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
