You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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