It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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