Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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