The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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