i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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