This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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