I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
