real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
