I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
we're making bets on your personal life
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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