Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
