But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
