It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
