In America we eat man semen.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
