And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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