Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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