The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
