Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
