he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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