im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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