Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
