I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
