Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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