you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
