guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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