i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think I died a long time ago.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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