I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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