My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
