u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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