tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
