capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Acid is not a monday night drug
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
