I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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