a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
