Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
