i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Farmville is her only friend.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
