Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
