my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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