you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
