it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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