fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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