peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
