i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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