ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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