So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
